Much Ado About Poopy

Today's story comes from the washroom. There was a woman occupying one of the stalls and she went quiet as soon as I walked in. I knew what she was doing, this wasn't the first time I had encountered such activities. If I don't hear trickling, I'm fairly certain you're not peeing. I would say I was in there for about 3-4 minutes and in that span of time, said woman did nothing. Moved not a muscle, made not a squeak.

Now come on, we're all grown ups. There aren't too many things you do in the loo, being absolutely still and pretending you're not there doesn't fool me into thinking you've got a shy bladder. Everyone makes regular Number Twos, you're not so special that you're the only one who has to go. Now I know making poopy noises and smells might be embarrassing and I don't suggest you loudly trumpet and say, "Did you hear that?" but when you gotta go, you gotta go. I know why you're there, I know what you're doing and I really don't care. I'm not going to run out and tell on you, "Guess what so and so's doing in there? Eeeww!" Similarly, if we both happen to finish our business and get to the sinks at the same time I won't be a jerk about it. "Woo-wee! Dinner must've been garlicky!" It's a normal life function: I make boom boom and so do you.

Hey, maybe one of these days I'll bring in a lounge chair, a really fat book and a little clock. See how long a person is willing to sit there and "pretend" she's not doing anything. Tuh!

Actually, there was this one time I was washing my hands while another, random and silent woman was hanging out in her stall. All of a sudden I heard something akin to a puppy screaming. Seriously. Puzzled, I turned off the tap and paused to listen. Turns out she couldn't hold it any longer and was in the middle of releasing some pent-up, really loud pressure. I finished up and ran out the door. Hahaha... screaming puppies...

What Do Your Babies Like to Eat?

I was just thinking about it downstairs while patiently holding out a cheesy puff for my princess Whiskey. You see, she likes them. Only Cheetos brand, there are no substitutes and I totally agree. She likes to inspect everything we eat before we eat it, and we've found that there are a few human foods that she will eat.

She doesn't really eat the cheesy puff, mostly she licks it all around.. get that furry coating of cheese. Sometimes she'll gently bite down on a corner of one, but she really just likes the best part: the taste. She also likes butter, melted butter. It is gross considering she licks herself.. everywhere but she gets first dibs on my toast while it's fresh and buttered. But then I don't think I'm all that gross when I think about dog owners getting sloppy kisses. Besides, my Whisk can do no wrong.

My first cat which now belongs to my mom and dad, Kit Kat liked yogurt and Timbits. I say liked, coz now she won't let me get close enough to her for me to try feeding her. But when I lived at home, I'd spoon-feed her my yogurt before I stirred it. Yum! When daddy came home from work with the leftover Timbits, I'd pick out an original, the only kind she liked. Then we'd sit on the kitchen floor and she'd eat the morsels as fast as I ripped them off the Timbit. If I wasn't fast enough feeding her, she'd put her paw on my hand and stick her face into the Timbit. The glutton.

Iggy... we're not sure. Since he's only 9 months old we haven't had quite too much time to really get to know him. What I can say is, he's like a dog. He'll put anything in his mouth and try it: litter, leaves, dirt, hair, etc.

We're not ready for a dog yet, but we eagerly await the stage in our lives when we feel we'll be able to raise one. In the meantime, we jet to the in-laws' to visit their "special" bull terrier Dillon (also Dodo, Ro!Ro!, and any kind of repetitive grunting). He's special in many ways, paper blowing by makes him shake with fear but throw a ball into a briar patch and he dives headfirst into it. When he's upset with you he won't look at you and will keep turning his head away to avoid eye contact. He doesn't do stairs or couches well, he prefers being lifted into place. The list goes on and on, but we should get back to the point. What does he like to eat?

As a dog, there's not much he doesn't like. OK, he doesn't like grapes a whole lot coz they're smooth and round and squirts out of his mouth when he tries to bite down. But other than that, he's game. At the top of his list: poo. Mmmm! His favourite favourite: goose poo! Walks in the park have provided him with some of his best meals. You can watch and catch him before he gets most of it, but let your guard down and he just inhales as much and as fast as he can. Being a dog, eating is a timed Olympic sport.

I know. Gross. Goose poo breath. It's a good thing he's not big on kisses. Just don't let him lick your toast.

By the way, he likes to be spoon-fed too.

November Long Weekend

I'm going to wrap up my long weekend into one entry.

I have a minor cold, thanks to all the germy, nasty commuters and co-workers who don't cover their mouths, use kleenexes or take a sick day. I may turtle into my jacket collar and try to hide from your billions of germs misting around my head but I know that doesn't keep me safe.

I want to mention Rememberance Day. I really am grateful to all the veterans who made it safe for me to live here in Canada. I think of my grandfather who came home from the war and how lucky we were to have him in our lives. There are so many people who didn't come home to their families, to the rest of their lives. I am proud to wear the poppy over my heart as a thank you to the brave soldiers and non-combatants who sacrificed themselves for me.

Friday was the Nine Inch Nails concert. We were surrounded by goths, freaks and pot. The ACC was hotboxed and there were so many people so high they didn't stop screaming and/or dancing/head banging for the entire night. I don't know what the big deal about pot is, my friends smoke it and I've always thought it smelled like angry skunks or something equally nasty. Not my cuppa tea. We didn't have the greatest seats but it was a great concert anyway. I've never been a big Nine Inch Nails fan but I've come away from this experience with a newfound respect for Trent Reznor and his talents after seeing them live. I wikipedia-ed him and found lots of information. By the way, that's my new favourite website: Wikipedia . It's awesome, you can find absolutely everything you want on there. Did you know Trent Reznor's only 5'6"? Too short for me, sorry babes. ;0)

We also had a door-to-door guy yesterday. I answered the door and he asked if my parents were home. Yay! Hahaha... it didn't work, I didn't give him any money but at least my ego was stroked and that's important too, right?

Song I'm loving right now: Dierks Bentley's Come a Little Closer. Beautiful.

First Snow!

It was cold, it was super windy, it was snowing this morning!

I had on my scarf, my mittens, my toque and I was still a little bit cold but it was OK because I've been waiting for the snow to come... or winter in general, I suppose. Don't you just love how the snow just blankets everything making a winter wonderland? The noises are gone, just a peaceful, crisp white world.

Commuting's not so fun. Actually, I notice people in the GTA don't know how to drive at all. Moisture in the air.. slam on the brakes! There's white drifting around on the ground but no accumulation.. slam on the brakes! I've been to areas out of the GTA and people drive just fine in inclement weather. I've been in Quebec in the middle of winter on a night in which we got a foot of snow in about an hour and people drove at almost regular speeds without incident. I don't like winter driving here, no good.

Snow snow snow! I can't wait to take Iggy out into the snow. We took Whiskey out in her harness and leash on a beautiful day after it had snowed all night when she was younger. I zipped her up in my jacket and off we went. She wasn't crazy about being outside but it was warm in my jacket so she was OK. Mr. Stinky had the bright idea of tossing her into the snow. She looked up at him and yowled her displeasure. Hahaha...

WAH!

I don't WAANNnnaaa....

It's one of those days. I have a permanent pout on and nothing's making me feel better. See this kid? That's exactly what I'm doing right now. He's really cute by the way...

I didn't want to get up this morning. Mr. Stinky told me to wake up and I tossed and turned and flipped the duvet all over the bed whining about having to get up.

I couldn't decide what to eat for breakfast so I ate some rice crispy squares that need to be eaten but I didn't feel like. I figured I'd eat at work coz I usually have stuff there for my at-work/second breakfast and other snacks to munch on throughout the day.

Now that I'm here I don't feel like anything. Raisin bread, no. Pringles, no. Cookies, no. If you know me then you know that me and Pringles are secret lovers. I currently have 3 empties and 1 almost empty on my desk... it's like we live for each other. I don't feel like.

I'm whining to my co-worker and whining/OT/world bashing/snack buddy Nancy and she's having a Whiny Day too. I don't feel like doing my work. I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating what I've got. I'm not liking the music they're playing on the radio today. I want to stay in bed today and pout. We need Whiny Days like sick days at work. "Morning, (insert manager's name). I'm afraid I'll have to take a Whiny Day today, I just don't think I can come into work and be civilized. Hopefully I'll feel mature enough tomorrow to face the world again. See you then."