Scent of a Poo

Why does everything in the Stinky universe always return to the topic of poo?  Well, that's just how the water flushes.  Poo is easy to talk about and if you don't like it that's too bad.  Life with a baby oftentimes lead to lots of poo talk; the smell, texture, frequency, the mishaps... Uh oh, did I say mishaps?

So now that Bug-bug is starting solids, her excrement have matured as well.  Whereas being on a completely liquid diet before, her poops were more akin to watery mucus, now that cereals are working their way through her intestinal tract it's much more like cake batter.  Yum.  I can't wait until she's on real real food.  Oh wait, yes I can.  The smell is much different too.  Milk poo is actually fairly innocuous, it smells like warm, sweet milk.  I like that smell.  Solid food poo on the other hand smells like, well, poo.  Without the benefit of the toilet water buffer.  Mr. Stinky and I must now gack our way through each Number 2 diaper change while Bug-bug kicks away joyfully.

Diapers are absorbent in nature, liquid waste is greedily sucked up and stored and when the Bug's poops were watery we had few problems with leakage.  Not so much now that she's churning batter... it tends to sit right on top of the diaper fabric, squishing around until someone mops it up.

Yesterday as I was enjoying my lunch I knew she had pooped, mommy noses detect everything.  As I was nearly done, I put her in her playpen and told her to wait a few minutes so that I could finish, as well as making sure she was too.  Those few minutes were my downfall.  You see, I've spawned a creature that almost never stops moving.  Even in her sleep she will swim around merrily in her crib.  So when I put her in the playpen and she wiggled about, an apoocalypse arrived.

Stripping her down to her diaper I got poo on my hands.  Having realized that there was a leakage somewhere I examined her closer and saw that there was actually poo everywhere: socks, change pad, clothes and even all the way up her back.  It was a massive poo, think brownie bomb explosion.  For a few seconds I wasn't sure what to do, mop up the leakage, take off her clothes or change her diaper.  You know in the cartoons when the character runs back and forth aimlessly while flapping his/her hands about uselessly?  I was totally doing that inside my head.  I managed to get down to business and get all three done with some success.  Wipe after wipe was expended to staunch the damage, next destination: kitchen sink.

Just when I thought the crisis was over, she let loose and peed all over herself.  I watched helplessly as residual poo bits swam around in the lake of piss and moaned this new development.  It was bigger than the kitchen sink, we were headed to the bath, and that's just what we did with me holding a dirty, naked baby at arms' length sprinting upstairs all the while hoping there would be no more surprises.

Somehow we made it.  It was touch and go for awhile but we pulled through.  I dread to think of the next outburst.

True Story

Bou Bou Bou...

Another one bought the desk!

Bou Bou Bou...

Another one bought the desk!

And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bought the desk.  Hey!

Yah, you're gonna get one too, another one bought the desk!

As a kid, I thought those were the words.  Made sense to me, that singer must really like buying desks.  Besides, if you had told me what the real lyrics were I would have scoffed; why would you bite dust anyway??  So I'd sing it loud and proud over and over again coz words aside, it really is a cool tune.

Years later when I learned the real words and their meaning I blushed furiously to myself over the mistake.  "Man, I'm so stoopid!  Buying desks?!  Tchh!"  But I'm over it now and can enjoy the memories of youthful innocence.  Sometimes when the song comes on I'll sing my version of it to Mr. Stinky who, of course, finds it amusing.

Yah I'm a loser but you know you wanna sing it my way.  Go enjoy your weekend and maybe buy a desk.

Honky Tonk Lovin'

We ventured down to Syracuse, NY for an easy 3 day roadtrip.  Not a whole lot to report on other than the fact I spent more than a few dimes on stuff for the Bug.  But we accidentally found one super happening place in the downtown area.  If you're ever in New York City, Rochester or Syracuse you must check it out:  Dinosaur Bar-B-Que.  The fact that this skeevy looking, biker dive was packed on a Monday night speaks volumes.  So too does the lack of parking space in the nearby area as we watched many a customer walking from blocks away, gravitating to this joint.  If I still was pregnant Mr. Stinky would be driving down everyday to pick me up some take out.  If any of you are planning a trip to the area let me know, bring me back some food.