It's not that I don't care that he asked her to be his life partner but the details don't interest me. I'm not your typical sappy, romantic in that everytime we talk about your significant other I do that annoying "aaaaaw.." thing. I get that he or she is special to you, after all I have my own special someone too. OK, I have two special someones now that Bug-bug's arrived but I just don't really need to hear about you so much.
I get that some people like to clip clop up on a unicorn and have cooing doves gently sprinkle rose petals (or poo) about while the teapot and candlestick sing a ballad as the 7 dwarves present the princess with an exquisite rock. I get too that others are more low-key and might toss the box over along with the bag of pork rinds during Satellite Hotstove (Hockey Night in Canada reference). Whatev. Either way, the important thing to me is that he asked the question without a shotgun in the ribs and she happily said yes. Anything else is filler.
Maybe I'm just cynical but it seems to me within these last few years.. well, as long as I've been noticing, is that the act of proposing has become some melodramatic, over the top, mine is bigger than yours kind of thing. I've heard of elaborate schemes involving scavenger hunts around the city, Amazing Race kind of dealios and just the kind of stuff you'd find in chick flicks where everything comes together perfectly after one implausible slapstick gag after another.
There was this one time where I was hanging out with a group of friends and a couple took turns, took turns revealing to the rest of us their saccharine-dripping proposal story. Everyone was listening intently and although I tried to sing loudly in my head to drown out the narration I heard it all. As the couple finished I looked at another friend sitting near me who I knew shared my sentiment. He quickly glanced at me and we shared a secret smile before he looked away. We caught each others' eyes again and I could see that his nostrils were flaring ever so slightly, mouth twitching away and he averted his face from the rest of the group. I took that moment to quickly pantomime throwing up by shrugging my shoulders and puffing out my cheeks. We cackled away like idiots. That was the best moment for me all night.
It doesn't matter to me how each guy decides to pop the question, there's no right or wrong way (no but there's the Stinky girl way and I am never wrong) so hey, if you want to go all out and make it super special for all time go nuts. Just do it for the right reasons: yourselves. Don't do it so you've got the best story this wedding season in which to amaze and impress the people around you coz it's really not a pissing contest. The deed becomes cheapened when the events leading up to the question become more important than the answer.
Besides, you'll only feel bad when I gag and laugh and then I'll feel bad a little and think maybe I should do or say something to make you feel better. But I'm a really bad liar so y'know, that might make things even more awkward for you. I mean us. No... you.
