Sums It Up

Seriously. Someone was bored and needed something new to freak out the world.

Watching Boobs and Hockey

A few weeks ago I went to one of Mr. Stinky's hockey games to watch his team lose horribly to the underdog. That's not the point. I was in the restaurant/lounge/viewing area above the rinks and it was full of spectators and families. Little kids running around, babies squalling, mommies playing referree and everyone else. Luckily for me, H was watching Bug Bug at home so I didn't have to spend the hour running after anybody. Yah, my kid's a crazy non-stop ball of energy but you already knew that.

As my eyes wandered around (which was pretty often seeing's how it was obvious Mr. Stinky's team would not be mounting any comeback campaigns of the year), I caught sight of a random guy checking me out. Flattery fluttered about until I turned to look behind me and spotted two very pink and blonde baby Britneys with heaving cleavages and bosoms practically laid out on platters o' silver. Seriously, their chests were prepared for those shots of alcoholic beverages everyone does at rowdy drinking parties.

Yah, there really isn't a point to this story other than how perfectly round and pushed out those boobies were. It makes me worry what I'm going to do when Bug Bug hits puberty and wants to leave the house dressed in strands of spider webs and little else because that's what the trend is and no it's not cold and I don't need a jacket and mooooom, if I don't wear this all the other kids will think I'm uncool. My parents didn't have to worry about me in that respect, I was pretty butch until I hit my 20s and friends were surprised to discover there were boobs underneath all the layers when I finally came out wearing just a tank top.

What is that saying about having kids? "When you have a boy there's only one dick, when you have a girl you gotta worry about all the other dicks." Shit.

Meaningless Musing

It's interesting that all the players the Maple Leafs got rid of are now on teams in the playoffs. Or, they were as of yesterday. I don't think any of them ended up in St. Louis...

Anyway, so better to get booted than stay in Toronto huh? Not like the Leafs are going anywhere even though every year we predict the return of Lord Stanley's cup to this Original Six. Just my thought of the day.

I'm starving.

Maternity Tax

When I went on maternity leave we thought it was going to be great in terms of finances. Not only would I be saving on transportation, shopping, eating out and general spending but I'd still be getting paid, even if on a reduced scale. Everyone around me said the same thing as well. What a great thing to be on maternity leave; a year off from "work", a year to spend with my baby and a year to enjoy saving money.

No, kids are not cheap at all but if you're a smart shopper and stock up on the basics like clothes, food and diapers ($9.97/Pamper megapak, reg. $17.99) (!!) when they go on sale plus clip coupons, then the potential to save a ton of money is there for the taking.

Imagine my shock and horror when tax time rolls along and the government wants like, all that money back and scrapes it violently from my colon walls without the courtesy of using any lube to make the pain easier to bear. This is my warning to all new and expecting parents: the government doesn't care about you staying at home to raise a family. They'll let you keep the baby but your money belongs to them.

Happy Welcoming Back to the Prodigal Me

I'm back, sort of.

I think.

We'll see.

I sort of feel like writing again but I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue this page or start another, make a fresh start. For now I think I'll stay here and see how I like it.

Wow, I didn't say anything of value at all. Guess I am back.