September 21, 2006

Summer Showdown

I know that there are only a couple of days until the end of summer 2006. I know that soon it'll get cold, people will start coughing, sneezing and boogering everywhere, the ice and snow will fall, the biting winds will blow up our pant legs showing no mercy for frostbitten cootches and we'll all lose our beautiful, glowing tans, thus turning into walking zombies who blend into the rest of the dead and winterized world. That was a really long sentence.

I'm fighting the change of seasons tooth and nail. Despite chilly mornings where I can see my breath and afternoons which do little to warm the soul I am still in my summer clothes. Until it gets unbearably frigid I have sworn an oath to wear skirts, sandals/heels and tank tops to work. I march proudly up and down the hallways on a daily basis looking like July when everyone else is already dressing for February and telling me to put on a sweater. To be honest, most times I'm not feeling the cold which is ironic considering how much guff I get for having less body fat than some others (this is totally out of my control as I can eat like your mom on a menopausal day). My toothpick arms still sun-kissed and bare are a testament to how I will not falter in my quest to keep summer around a little longer.

You should support me, my rented minions, in this epic yearly battle. Soon I'll be posting messages full of blah and wah describing how incredibly S.A.D. I am, how uninspired and sucked dry of life and energy... all because of the cold. I can't wait for this current cold front to snap that so we can enjoy Indian Summer 2006. Wait, is that a derogatory term now? Hahaha... what movie/show was that from? "Indian." "Dots or feathers?" Ha! I love me some snarky humour. That may be why I'm so universally loved: unapologetically unpolitical.

Back to the point. Lift my arms when I falter, carry my feet when I stumble for I shall prevail. In almost exactly 6 months' time I promise if you join this fight with me I shall bring back the warmth. The sun. The joy. Because come on, what else are we gonna do right? A happy Stinky T is a blogging Stinky T and as long as I'm happy what the hell else matters? I mean, I love you all... big and small. Wait, come back.

5 comments:

brando said...

I only really dread the painful cold. When it gets down under 0, and it cracks engine blocks, and your bones hurt within 20 seconds of being outside. Normal cold is just fine with me.

Holden said...

Good for you. Hang on to summer as long as you can, especially up there where you actually have real winter.

Although the other night, as I was walking around outside in shorts when it was 45 degrees (that's like about 8 in Canadian, I think), I realized that self-delusion can only go so far. :)

The Shuster said...

That's right damn the man! Fight the power! Rage against the machine!

The funny thing is these type of temperatures (low to mid teens celsius) in Spring will be a welcome relief from the cold. Isn't it funny how our perception changes with the promise of nicer weather.

Just get out and enjoy the fall with all it's golden splendor before hibernating for the winter.

Anonymous said...

It does pain me to see you in skirts in this weather! But man...I love the fall. Good luck on your quest ;)

Stinky T said...

That's right, y'all. This warm blooded rebel will go down fighting! With a mad case of frostbite and hypothermia! Who. Will. Join. ME??

I hear it might hit the 20s this week. Bikini time, oh yah!!