We've had notice that we were going to get a fire drill one of these days and I knew it was going to be today because it's Friday. They may be onto something.. these events should happen on the last work day of the week. Then we can all go home early and enjoy a slightly longer weekend! I should run for ruler of the world, I'd make such cool rules for us all.
I have to say now that we've had it I'm sorely disappointed. It's like, that time, that guy, who you were totally crushing on offered to show you the backseat of his totally blinged out car with the killer CD stereo system, leather seats and rad race car engine when the reality was a horribly repainted Cavalier, complimented by the bubbled up Crappy T self-tinting job, coffee can muffler in the back held up with what was once a coat hanger, a Discman hooked up to his cassette player and a faux leather throw his mom tossed over the backseat to protect passenger asses from the crazy, killer springs popping through. Mercifully, the tour was short and you ran away. Fast. But not before macing the lust out of his baby blues, the lying skid.
Sorry, back to the present. My mind likes to tangent off occasionally. At precisely 1010am we were told "10 minutes". I got all excited like a puppy being told she's going out for a walk and ran to the washroom to pee. Came back and put on my sweatshirt because it's a little cool out, don't want to stand outside whimpering in my t-shirt. Tick tick tick tick... Getting antsy. My half-hour break starts at 1100, we went and came back from doing lines I mean, whatev.. and still nothing. I knew it had to happen soon so again, I ran to the washroom to do my thing and bore down because I didn't want to be the schmuck left behind on the can should the building burn down.
Finally it happened and I just about pushed and kicked everyone down the stairs so that I could get a prime standing spot on the sidewalk and greet the firefighters. I looove fire alarms, firefighters are h-a-w-t! It should be a professional career to ogle and squeal at them, at least for me anyway. Somebody pay me to be a firefighting cheerleader, damn it!
We're standing on the sidewalk and I hear no sirens. I don't like that. The alarm got turned off and we went back in. No firefighters. I very don't like that. Sure it was a drill, and it makes total sense that they won't be coming to our imaginary rescue because somebody out there might legitimately have an emergency which would require their presence and assistance but what the hell! That fire drill sucked. Ass. Goat ass. I hate you all.
October 06, 2006
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5 comments:
Lol
RA-RA-RA! Would that make you the inagural fire alarm cheerleader? Good escape procedure!! To give an example you have to be at the front to show people how to escape, right?
I'm willing to go along with that as long as the escapees don't block my view of the hotties in action. Penalty for interference would be to march back into the building and back of the line.
I'm firm but fair.
It sucked more that goat ass! It sucked Donkey ass!!
Where were the lovely firefighter hotties...oh where oh where.
Then again, they're only two blocks away....and we do have to do "site inspections" occassionally....hummm...mmmm..
...hawties.....
They *tell* you when the fire drill is?
What kind of test of emergency preparedness blahblahblah is that??? Too much coddling of the populace up there in the great white north, I tell you.... :)
In the building I work in there are lots of stairs, but for some reason only two are the "official fire exit" ones so all 4000 or so people in the building are supposd to exit using those two stairs. It's insane.
So everytime there's a drill, I wave bye to my lemming coworkers, with some exhortation like "If this is real, you're all going to die," use the other stairs, come waltzing outside in, like, 10 seconds, and
laugh at the crushing lines using the "official" exit.
Yes Holden, living the keyboardist's life results in most of us having subpar intelligence. I'll admit to that, no use denying what's painfully obvious. I also need to be told not to pee on the toilet seat too. LOL!
We have several official fire stairways but I'm on one of the lower floors. I count my blessings that if there ever was a fire we'd be amongst the first out. It doesn't mean if there's a cattle jam I won't be the one hollering, kicking and shoving my way out. A day's never complete without a panicking stampede, right?
There must a method to the madness though, as all the "important" staff like the lawyers and such are stuck on the 26th floor with their lovely views of the city. Burn in hell, suckers!
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