November 23, 2006

Chest Melons

Yesterday on our way back from break, a woman walked past Amy and I. She was attractive, Mediterranean looking, slim and had a great figure. However what stuck out, literally, were her breasts popping out from a barely-there, cleavage exposing top. Approximately two seconds after we had passed her my big mouth needed to speak.

Stinky T: Duude! Her boobs are so fake!

Amy: Hahaha.. I know!! I was just going to say something!

Stinky T: I don't find them attractive at all, they're so obviously not real.

Far be it from me to belittle people who cosmetically enhance their bodies if it's what they really want to do, but wow, she so went to the wrong surgeon. Her boobs actually looked like two halves of a really round melon glued onto her chest. Real boobs are soft and droop a little, they're only obeying the laws of gravity, right? Girl had some rock hard, wicked highbeams going on and no cleavage happening. Fake boobs for the most part are easy to spot; if you can easily trace perfect circles around them while blindfolded, I guarantee that they are fake. So too if the space between their boobs is so cavernously gaping that instead of a slit there's just a trench. I could've yelled into her breasts and gotten some good echoes in return.

If she had done her homework and gotten a better pair she'd look disgustingly hot. In the meantime all I can think about is how badly she needs to cover those puppies up. In my humble opinion they seriously detract from the rest of her and that's such a shame.

3 comments:

The Shuster said...

I can just picture you yelling into some other ladies chest too. What a mental image! Ha.

Holden said...

I apologize in advance for standing up for shallowness, but, as much as I'd like to agree with you, I probably would've thought she was kinda hot.

There's a 20-something woman in our gym who used to be this pretty, thin, athletic sprinter who ran ungodly fast intervals on a treadmill. I was always kinda stunned at the intensity of her workouts. Anyway, she disappeared for a while and then returned months later with the most absurd Barbie body I have ever seen. Tiny waist, nice athletic runner's butt and a terrifyingly large set of boobs. They're ridiculous. She wears a sports bra that looks like it was designed by bridge engineers. I doubt that she can see her toes when she looks down. We laugh at her all the time because now she can't run fast and when she runs at all, she has to move her arms in a way that kinda support the boobage with each step. It's comical and I can't believe she did that to herself.

It's also spectacular and
if I were single I would jump on that faster than you could imagine.

(I probably wouldn't be around for more than a few dates 'cause she doesn't strike me as very bright, but just to, um, explore all that would be, well, awesome).

Again, I'm sorry. :)

Anonymous said...

There are some people that I know of do have had the surgery...and the doctor has managed to attempt to keep a natural type of figure to them.

But having two spheres attached to your chest is just NASTY! I would have loved to have seen Amy's face! LOL