Nuggets of Wisdom

As I am not the driver in the household, I see lots of things. I love ogling and rubbernecking but it's completely OK because I'm not slowing down and impeding traffic. I am the official accident-as-it-just-happened reporter and can tell Mr. Stinky what's going on without him having to take his eyes off the road for too long. The best perches, however, happen to be on streetcars and buses. From the high vantage point you can look down on all the drivers around you in privacy as most of them don't bother to look up into public transit vehicles.

While on the road I look at licence plates a lot, banners on stores advertising the latest sales, the feature movie in the minivan up ahead, roadkill, whatever and people. Oooh... I love watching people in other cars. So much goes on, I can give them my full attention!

One thing I notice is that when we are in our cars we feel protected. I don't mean because of the cages of steel around us, but we treat the inside of our cars as our homes, our private sanctuaries. We are surround by glass but somehow it doesn't always compute, it's like the door closes and "Shields up!" I have seen sooo many people picking their noses it can't just be a coincidence. Today it was a guy scraping about with his thumb, it must've been a stubborn cling-on that he needed the extra thumb power. But oh, think of the nostril! It must be hard on your nose to jam something so big up there and have it wiggling around.

There was this one time I was sitting in the streetcar, idly watching the guy in the car next to me while we were all sitting at a red light. I noticed he was a well-dressed man, suit and tie, well groomed and dignified looking. Then he reached up and stuck his finger in one nostril. Hmm... After he swished around for a bit the finger popped out and went in his mouth. Gaaaeehh!!! I think I might have banged on my window in disgust, I don't know why... maybe if he looked over I would've made a face and tried to shame him. Eating boogers?? What are you, 6?

People, we need to remember that glass is see-through! Pick your nose at home or in the washroom. Heck, duck into a corner and use a chisel if you need. Just make sure no one's around, coz sure we all do it but I don't want to see you pull anything out! And use a kleenex for Pete's sake, don't do the "pick and flick" coz you can't aim those little buggers and you don't want to be embarassed later when someone sees that hairy snot hanging on your shirt or on the professionally printed and bound reports you worked on all by yourself!

Go home, pour that glass of wine, put your feet up and give your nasal passages the time and care it deserves... away from the window. After you've cleaned house, take a deep breath and enjoy. Then toss out the boogy rag and wash your hands.