It's Haawwwt!

Yah man. It literally went from cold and miserable to hot, humid and yucky overnight. This is Southern Ontario spring, the climate doesn't know exactly what's what. It just jerks around like a driver learning on stick until the gear catches and all of a sudden it feels like summer.

Last night I stayed cool by cleaning the fridge. Oh yah, it was lovely. I could've taken every condiment and leftover tupperware out, deshelved the thing and crawled inside. Mr. Stinky would've come home to melting crap all over the counters and me safely tucked into the big white box shivering with contentment.

It's not the heat the bothers me as much as the humidity. When it's hot you can turn on the fan and "feel" cooler. With the extra moisture in the air, nothing short of an air conditioning unit relieves the discomfort. Lucky for us, we don't have one of those fandangled things. Instead we have the convenience of cold showers. Two days ago I had the tap turned to... 9:30-ish? Last night I was soaking in lovely 2:00 temperature. Then I stepped out of the shower, towelled myself off and started to sweat again. It's kind of nonsensical how everything occurs out of order.

The house was much cooler downstairs so that's where I mainly spent the evening. When it came time for bed we decided to head down memory lane and blow up the air mattress in the basement... that's where we slept all of last summer when it was crazy hot and gross. I don't really know how we managed to make it through those months but somehow we did. We stayed in the basement or went to the malls and supermarkets to suck in the cool air. That's what losers with no a/c do... walk up and down the freezer section until closing time.

I'm happy to announce that tonight will be the last night Mr. Stinky and I are forced to share sleeping arrangements with the furnace, freezer and several other appliances. Tomorrow, we get our own brand spankin' new a/c unit to chill the house back down to acceptable levels. This will result in general contentment in our little love nest and a sizeable bill every month to pay for this contentment. So let's all join in a circle and sing that little ditty that you can't get out of your head once it's jangling around in there.

Hands in my pocket, hands in my pocket, hands in ma pocket!

But at least I won't be so hot that I sweat right through my pocket and soak your hand too!

Beauty Is the Grunt

Today is garbage and yard waste day in my neighbourhood and as I am usually ready to go before Mr. Stinky I went out to drag the stuff down to the curb. No problems with the garbage, I can carry full bags on heels. More difficulties with the yard waste bag. You know, they really should put handles on those biodegradable paper bags. Yard stuff is heavy and being smooth and slippery with no discernible grippy parts, I had problems lifting and holding.

I called Mr. Stinky over to help but by the time he got close I had managed to heft the bag off the ground and carry it to the curb. As he watched, I placed the bag down and random guy from down the street drove by. To flatter me, Mr. Stinky told me that I had just been checked out but we both knew the truth: random guy was totally impressed that the chick in the skirt was dragging heavy waste material to the end of the driveway for pickup while Mr. Stinky stood and watched. He was probably trying to figure out how to get that arrangement to work at his house in the coming weeks.

Update, Please?

I haven't been inspired to write lately. I feel like I should to prove I'm not getting lackadaisical about my updates... actually, I am. Nothing's happening in my life that makes me want to type and backspace (mostly the latter), spell check and post. I feel guilty about it and believe me, I've started many a post only to delete them because the only thing that pisses me off more than not writing is writing something not worth reading. Call it integrity guilt... I wouldn't subject you to reading something that starts and ends nowhere, with a bunch of used toilet paper sandwiched in the middle.

So here it is, to assuage my shame I'm telling you I got nothing just so I've got something. I'm publishing words that explain nil and essentially is a waste of everyone's time. The only thing worth mentioning is that I'm starting to PMS again... the inner bitch is quickly bubbling up from the depths and sending everyday bitch to the hyperbaric chambers with the bends for the next little while. What was that about now? No idea. Just don't cross my path for the next 2 weeks.

Apparently that means I'm halfway decent for 2 weeks out of the month. Who doesn't like batting .500? Awesome stat in baseball, not so good as a hockey goalie. Tomato, tomahto. Whatev.

Go Ottawa!

Really Growing Up

I went to a wedding yesterday, it was for a childhood friend I've known forever. We were never close and we don't keep in touch since I left the church but we were from a group that were of the same age and grew up together every weekend that we saw each other. It was a lovely ceremony, there were lots of people there and lots of love in the bride and groom's eyes. I like going to weddings, I like seeing us all grow up and start our own lives.

Since leaving my childhood church I've lost contact with a lot of good friends. Sometimes I miss them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I miss all the fun we had and other times I think about how much of an outcast I was with the parents because I was different. Memories are like a kaleidoscope, different pieces come up everytime you think back. It's a wonder how much can be forgotten, remembered and forgotten again until the next time the tube spins and the pieces fall together again.

One person I saw yesterday brought up a whole slew of memories. He's 2 years older than me, a real Casanova back in the day. We'll call him Jack. Growing up during the teenaged years was all about having fun and flirting. I didn't usually take all that seriously because I knew it wasn't real, nobody falls in love at the age of 14. Even so, the bantering between friends is fun enough, and this way nobody gets jealous coz we're all doing it. Jack was a ladies' man, he looved flirting and hooking up with girls and having girlfriends and giving the "do me" eyes and making girls want him. He thought he was God's gift to the female race and could have anyone he wanted. He used to tell me quite often that if I was just a year older....

I was always like, whatever. I liked him but I didn't like like him.

So when we made eye contact yesterday after 5 (?) years, we smiled at each other and said hi. Well, actually, I smiled and he gave me the Jack-patented "do me" eyes. It didn't faze me, in fact I actually felt sad for him. There I was with Mr. Stinky by my side and there he was sitting all alone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, he just looked... alone. We tried to strike up a conversation but it wasn't the same as when we were kids. There was no connection and it quickly ended, but not before I asked how he was doing and he said something like, "Oh, I'm hanging in there..."

What does that mean? Is he in trouble? Is it the "line" now? Am I horrible to not inquire further? Whatever the case, we left not long after that and by then I suppose he had meandered somewhere else to catch up with others. It doesn't matter, all I know is that when I think of Jack from now on I'll have imprinted in my mind the memory of him sitting by himself and trying too hard to impress. Still.

Two Field Goals and a Touchdown

As per Don Cherry's comment last night. What a game between Ottawa and Buffalo, 13 goals! I love watching exciting games like that. It's like, what's going to happen next? Who's going to score next? How many more pucks can they possibly put in the net??? I couldn't believe the action that happened within the last 5 minutes of the game; edge of the seat stuff, man.

Having said that, I'm all for cheering for Buffalo and am totally psyched about this series. I think it'll be super fun to watch and they might even take it to 7. I'm even hoping they win the Stanley Cup. If not the (stupid) Leafs, then I'd settle for distance association... and they have a nice arena. I even like the angry buffalo with steaming nostrils and glowing eyes they got in there. And the fans area great too, they don't seem to be of the corporate schmoozing kind that don't care for the game. I like that.

P.S. I love Don Cherry, I don't care what anyone says. He may not always be right but he's always honest. And funny. And cool. And full of stories. And entertaining. So there.

Night Songs

Early this morning I was stirred out of my sleep by a strange sound from outside. It's been warm lately, so the window was opened for some fresh, cool air while we sleep. At first I thought it was a bunch of birds screeching away but looking at the clock, I thought "2:45am? They'd be sleeping right now." As I laid there listening, the sounds became more distinct. Mr. Stinky woke up too and we realized the sounds were made by a pack of local coyotes howling and yipping.

It was really beautiful to hear, wildlife in the City (almost) although from time to time we do see deer around too. Coyotes seem to be a little more elusive to our area.

The sounds came to an abrupt stop and I was thinking they had either caught a neighbourhood cat or were on the hunt for one. Do coyotes sing to begin a hunt or to celebrate a successful one? Either way, I was imagining them running through the bush by themselves and within the pack or gorging in a bloody feast.

A few minutes passed and they started up again. For a second time, we awoke to listen to the "Ooouuu..." and "Yip-yip-yip-yip!"s before they faded away into the darkness again. It was so cool.