Duck Duck Goose

We decided to have some friends over on Sunday, so I invited Emma and Goose (explanation to follow) for a small, intimate evening together. The plan was for a nice, easy bike ride along the Waterfront Trail followed by (non-group) showers, dinner and then just hanging out. Seems easy, right? It started out innocently enough, it was friggin’ hot and muggy but since we live by the lake temperatures are usually much more tempered by it and even on the hottest days in the City, there is a cool breeze that comes off the lake making the outdoors that much more enjoyable.

The ride was pleasant enough; we rode roughly 15 km, round trip. There were lots of families out for picnics and family fun days and it was nice to see so many people having a good time. On our way back, I was riding with Goose who, at this point in time hadn’t been dubbed with said moniker yet, while Mr. Stinky and Emma were a ways back. All of a sudden a gigantic Canada Goose flew out of nowhere and almost crashed right into Goose’s head. I let out a scream of surprise and got a super close-up of a goose butt that I never wanted to see and he ducked and swerved while the bird flapped frantically, finally landing on the grass a few feet away. As I looked back, Emma is laughing at Mr. Stinky who was flying across the grassy field trying to spook the lounging birds, one of which had just spooked Goose and I.

After the feathers settled down we laughed about the incident. There aren’t many stories you hear about which includes almost being taken out by an unprovoked waterfowl and especially since that thing was so big we were pretty sure that Goose would have been knocked to the ground. I rationalized that perhaps the goose had lousy vision or had just consumed a heavy meal and couldn't quite attain normal flight altitudes. But now you know why his name is Goose.

The rest of the evening was pretty normal, we had fun, we ate, hung out and went home. Last night as I was talking to Emma on the phone, she was also on MSN with Goose. There were several threads of conversation going on at once making things a little confusing at times. While we talked about whatever, she would also interject with Goose’s replies as well as her responses to him as per their conversation.

Somehow or another the topic of handjobs came up. As she was typing that due to the incident, it was entirely logical that we change his name to Goose, I made a comment to her about giving out handjobs. All of a sudden she said, “I think that’s a good nickname for me.” Stunned, I blurted: "..HANDJOB?!?” Now it was her turn to be bamboozled and she shrieked into my ear, “WHAT? Wh… no!! That’s what Goose said!” Of course at this point we both dissolved into laughter because the timing was just so perfect that the two conversations came together like that and how do you time coincidence anyway?

That’s my Goose story, I think it’s a keeper.