Running on Empty

So when T-J harassed me this morning to do an update I got all indignant. Like, dude! I only did one like, 3 days ago… I’m fresh out! I give and I give and all you greedy little sucklings want is more. Well, she was joking so I’m not angry or anything… we just like to yell at each other from time to time. Keeps things fresh, y’know? Gets the blood running and adrenaline pumping. However, my life and mind is only so interesting and nothing too much occurs within any given amount of time. I wish it was more action packed but sadly with Mr. Stinky off at school half the week, not having a second car and no bat cave yet in the subterranean – the contractors are slightly behind due to material shortages they say. Shortage my ass! Somebody’s gonna get fired real soon and sent packing with a couple of backhands to go with – I do a lot of MSN chatting, housework and nose picking.

Think of me as your toilet… or better yet, the toilet at your friend’s place whom you’re visiting. See, when you do a number two but you don’t want everyone else to know that you did one and you want to get out of the washroom real fast coz not only did you do a real big, stinkified job but the longer you’re in there, the more obvious it becomes that you weren’t just interested in making a tinkle and oh wow, hopefully nobody needs to use the toilet too in the next few minutes before the air clears coz your contacts are fogging over in your eyes but crap! one flush wasn’t enough so you keep pushing the lever down to will the stuff down the hole but it won’t go coz the tank hasn’t refilled yet! That’s me, that’s exactly where I am right now. If you’ll just be patient, my reserves will fill up again and I’ll have more crap with which to shove in your face and entertain you. Right now though, I’m sitting here making poopy analogies and typing run-on sentences that would no doubt send any literary stickler into convulsions of consternation due to the linguistic mutilation going on.

I’ll let you know when the tank has been refilled. Hopefully soon too. Too many posts revolving around toilet issues lately.