You Can't Make This Shit Up!

I had a doctor's appointment today and needed to fill out a prescription. Waiting at the pharmacy counter my eye caught sight of the business card rack. The slots for everyone who worked there were full, all but one. Somebody was obviously very popular so being the nosy bitch that I am, hovered in for a closer look. When I understood his popularity I had to pretend to be mature and refrain from bursting into laughter but the child inside reached out, grabbed one and shoved it into my pocket anyway.

Thanks to Adobe Photoshop and Mr. Stinky's graphic designing skills I present to you an honest to goodness, genuine business card with a little bit of tampering done for the purpose of saving this guy from complete embarassment and slapping me with a fat lawsuit of some kind. I swear on the hair upon your child's head that this is not a joke but I might want to frame the original anyway for posterity because it's just that good. Either that or go back and swipe a handful of them. I'm a humanitarian, I know. I'm practically a saint.