OK, I can't not blab. Keeping things under wraps for a year and a half was difficult at first but once a few lies were told it became mundane. Why is Mr. Stinky so busy all the time? Why is he leaving on entire weekend trips without you? What is he taking in school and why is it taking so long for him to finish? Why are your answers always so transparently rote and recycled?... But now that the gate has opened, ain't nothing gonna close that sucker now!
My plan was to leave you hanging for a little longer, to whisper amongst yourselves the possibilities, conspiracy theories and such. Then there would've been a day of revealing whereby I shout "Ta da!" and you all gasp in astonishment before applauding my mastery of convoluting facts, all the while feeling a little pissed off that I'm such a cunning bitch. But I have a big mouth. And I've wanted to tell everyone a long time ago except Mr. Stinky asked me not to, until the cement had set. So I resorted to tweaking details and words to tease the audience, although I did not tell a lie technically... just misled you. And boy did that work well! I freaked out a few of you guys more than a little and had to set the story straight. I am not quite the harlot your imagination got you thinking of, maybe just a little but there is no scarlet letter on my chest. (Yet. !!) However, a big congratulations to those of you who saw through the ruse and figured out the truth. Holden, I knew you were a smart cookie! I was totally waiting for your lightbulb to blink on.
Most of you know that Mr. Stinky has been in school for the past year and a half, what you don’t know is the subject he’s been studying other than what I told you under false pretenses. You see, we didn’t want to reveal anything until we felt it was time to do so and ideally, that would be about the time he finished school or found a placement. You read it here first; Mr. Stinky made the choice to become a firefighter and enrolled in school for his pre-service fire-fighter certificate. I’d like to stop for a moment and brag now. On top of a full time job, he’s pulling in a neat 4.0 GPA in his courses, sometimes sloughing through 18 hour days and entire weekends just to get his assignments done. Recently he was offered the opportunity to work in a firehall for another city within the GTA on a volunteer basis. With all the competition to become a firefighter in southern Ontario, this break provides a very good foothold towards gaining permanent employment at a hall. Taking this opening means changes and adjustments are to follow.
I couldn't be happier for Mr. Stinky as this was something he had been thinking about for quite awhile now. This also completely works for me since I don't need to remind you of my love for firefighters. It's also the refrain of this blog that as long as the Stinky girl is happy...
P.S. I'm sleeping with a firefighter!
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5 comments:
I did not reply to your earlier post because I was too shocked to really come up with anything. I have to admit at first I thought you did cheat on Mr. Stinky but something about that post didn't quite sit right with me and it occupied many of my thoughts yesterday. I do not know you that well, have never met Mr. Stinky...etc, but from the impression I got you were more than happy with him and I didn't want to believe you could hurt him that way.
The thought flashed across my pea sized brain that maybe Mr. Stinky is a firefighter. Once I read Holden's first comment where he mentioned play on words (you are an expert at your word plays now aren't you?), I re-read your post (a few times) and the wording you chose only implied you were unfaithful and you never flat out said that your cheated. Your behaviour yesterday also seemed like you were still hiding something and you were taking joy at watching people's reactions. Very ambiguous for someone who's coming clean. I began to think that Mr. Stinky in fact became a firefighter but since 'I've been' generally clueless on many things I slept on it. And now I know my suspicion was correct, however, weak or ill-informed it may have been.
Now I am happy to respond.
Dude, that is awesome!!!
Yeah...I couldn't keep my mouth shut yesterday. From our conversations a few days ago about the justfications of 'one night stands' to your recent posting; my heart did skip a beat!
I first I thought you had some firefighter doll, or you dressed up your cat as a firefighter for hallowe'en and he slept in bed with you guys....but alas; what you said was spot on.
So proud of you Mr. Stinky for following you dreams! :D
One more thing. Don't tell him I'm a pyro. That's why I keep a lighter in my pocket since I gave up smoking a few years ago.
I did see a report one time that said a lot of firefighters are themselves pyros....
I win!
Although it's a small victory, 'cause I'm really annoyed at myself that I didn't see thru that ruse right off the bat. Damn you, Stinky T, you've foiled me, even if ever so slightly. Congrats to the FD dude, though. That's cool. He's in for some hard work, though.
Aw Shus, I knew you knew that something was up... the way you came into our office with that suspicious smile on your face, I could barely keep a straight face. I kept waiting for all of you to ask but none of you did... I may have to clean up my reputation a little bit! Hahaha!
And don't worry about the pyro thing, it's inexplicably hardwired into the entire Stinky family's DNA...
Thanks for all your well wishes, they mean a lot. I'm sure Mr. Stinky would say the same as well but he's already off for the weekend training and playing with fire!
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