I do like my quickies. Unfortunately this has turned into the opposite of what I had planned on writing about... oh well. But then you never did come here for something literary and intelligent either so the boat's still afloat.
Read the news lately? Apparently the latest issue is the Christmas Tree that was banned by a Toronto judge from a courthouse because of concerns it might offend somebody, hurt their feelings, remind us all that we live in a multicultural and multireligious society. Oh pooh pooh pooh... Then politicians started wondering if we should have some kind of policy in place for Christmas trees before the Premier in his glory told them all nicely to shut the fuck up and mind their own businesses.
It's a tree. It's a fucking tree with pretty things hanging from its branches. Really, it has about as much to do with Christianity as Santa Claus and his flying reindeers which, are an evolutionary impossibility because see, evolution doesn't exist and flying ungulates were never created... at least I never saw any while perusing through the illustrated stories of my childhood Sundays.
I wasn't there when Mary pushed the little Saviour out away in a manger and didn't get a chance to meet the three wise men as they came bearing gifts but dude, I strongly remember gifts of gold, frankincense (Frankenstein's gift since he couldn't make it what with being chased by angry mobs waving flaming torches and pitchforks... I deduced all this as a young child because nobody bothered to explain to me what in fact, frankincense is... I doubt any of the grown ups knew anyway. It's one of those "*sighh* Just because, OK??" deals) and myrrh from the stories and songs. Since U-Hauls and trucks hadn't been invented yet I figure they needed to travel lightly, yes? OK, so they had their desert caravans and stuff but surely wise men with a caravan would have brought more for the baby Jesus? Clothes so he didn't have to be swaddled in cloth? A crib might be more comfortable than a trough and even a few of those pine tree air fresheners to give the place a more pleasant aroma would do.
And hey, listen, they were in the desert too. No pine trees around... unless they hung the ornaments and afterbirth on some nearby olive tree and called it a Christmas tree which would have been another nonsensical move since Christmas hadn't even been invented yet. And come on, who hangs ornaments and placenta together like that? It's probably not even kosher, I can't believe you thought of it.
Surely we have more important things to deal with than a Christmas tree? Perhaps the politicians can have slappy fights to resolve issues like world peace, world hunger and the meager digits in my bank account instead... Seriously, it's so pathetic the moths won't even fly out of my wallet anymore when I open it. Do you see? Do you see how in the grand scheme of things the issue of the possibility of offending someone with a tree, and I don't believe that anyone has actually raised a hand yet, is so hollow that we're forgetting the true meaning of Christmas: Me.
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2 comments:
Don't these people--who had enough balls to give themselves a 25% raise--have anything BETTER to do with their time!? Who the HELL took this to the courts in the first place.
If you don't like Christmas trees, go back to whatever country you're from and enjoy your stupid little knick knacks there you morons!!
It is likely the judge is just mad because city council or whatever committee(s) created did not allow him/her to cut down a tree on his/her property.
I think a GN'R quote is relevant here (slightly adapted for the situation):
MERRY CHRISTMAS!! And to all those opposed...hmm, well!
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