My sense of smell has evolved from that of a wolf to one of a shark. It's awesome, if you want to be able to detect a drop a blood in the environment a kilometer away. On land, it'd be like having the power to smell someone's cologne or lunch from down the hallway. Magnified. I can't begin to count how many times a day I run away from blasts of stink at the risk of projectile vomitting and passing out for what seems like no good reasons at all. I hate my omnipotent nose. God totally must've felt like a tricky bastard the day he handed out superpowers and saw my name. Thanks.
My fridge has been assaulting me with the stench of sour something lately, I couldn't find the source. I've thrown out old crap and laid out dishes of baking soda in the hopes of neutralizing the grossness. Nothing worked. Of course when I asked Mr. Stinky about it, he took a long, deep breath inside and pronounced it safe thus making me think I'm either crazy or have become a higher being of some sort. Everytime I opened the door the noxious fumes made me gag, it was so horrible.
Last night me and the fridge threw down. I couldn't stand the bouquet anymore and decided the showdown was happening at sundown. We went toe to toe, the fridge was completely emptied and I washed everything in there: shelves, walls, tupperware and jars, with my favourite cleaning duo of vinegar and water. I used to hate the smell of vinegar, such a turn off! But since I decided to go "green" and mostly stopped using commercial cleansers in the house we've become almost best friends... it cleans and deodorizes without leaving a scent once dried. Obviously my keen sense of smell prevents me from enjoying the smell of the store bought products and vinegar and water is so much more economical anyway. So last night was a fridge sanitizing frenzy of madness. I tossed out a bunch of old stuff, scrubbed and sliced up a lemon afterwards to absorb any lingering stink. This morning it smells fine, I'm hoping it stays that way. I don't want to go insane detecting molecules of anything in there, however it may already be too late. Stay tuned for my next senseless war story when I think random guy in the crowd is sending me morse code messages with his eyes when really he's just blinking, so I go off to fight hurricanes.
Smelly Fridge: 0
Stinky T: 1
March 20, 2007
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2 comments:
Are you pregnant? When my ex-wife was pregnant, she *swore* the freezer "smelled disgusting." No one else could smell a thing in there. That particular slice of weirdness lasted the whole pregnancy as I remember....
I also remember doing that when I was pregnant--everything had a stench...everything!
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