Boogerific

Today after lunch as I stood at the sink brushing my teeth, another woman made use of the other sink. I don't know her name since she's not in our section but I see her regularly. She must be the most miserable person on earth because in all the time we've worked in the same vicinity together I have never seen her smile once. She actually walks around with the most dour expression on her face, like she's got a permanent pickle up her butt. I don't think she has any mien other than perpetual pissed off, remember that whole "don't make faces coz your face will freeze like that" saying? Yah.

Anyway, back to the story. So I'm busy making those neat, little circles on my teeth when she turns on the tap, leans into the sink and hocks out a loogie. Mmm. Then she blew her nose into her hand.

She must've made a handful because from the squishy, soggy sounds I determined that the boogie chambers were definitely full. You know at the height of cold and flu season when you're hesitant to blow your nose in public because of how gross you know it's going to sound? And the sheer volume of nose goo which means several Kleenexes are necessary for one blow absolutely guarantees that it will be an insufferably painful minute for everyone around? This was one of those. I was quite shocked, as it's not an activity I'm used to at the sinks, and very grossed out. You know how easy it is to gag with a toothbrush in your mouth? It's extra easy when you're subject to gag-inducing, nasty nose blows. I couldn't even feign nonchalance and turned my back fully to her so that I could continue brushing my teeth while staring at the wall tiles. If I had to listen to her Sound of Mucus at least I could avoid accidentally catching a glimpse with the wayward peripheral vision that always seem to get HD sharp when disgusting stuff is happening around me.

I was trying so hard not to vomit lunch through my toothpaste that I lost track of where the neat, little circles were going and just kept brushing away mechanically willing her to finish up and go away. I think she started to take in water with her mouth and expressing it through her nostrils for that extra deep clean. I lost my vision momentarily as the sounds of her swishing and burbling away overcame me but I prevailed and never once turned around.

She finally finished and left the washroom. I summoned all my powers to not look into her sink for whatever leftovers might be there and locked my eyes straight ahead. I managed to spit, rinse, clean my sink and leave the washroom without looking but the sounds of her snotcapade lingers. I hope we never meet in the washroom again, it's enough that I have to see this severely morose person on a daily basis. I really don't need to be audience to her evacuations as well.