Moon Theatre

Mr. Stinky and I went shopping. I saw something in a store that looked interesting and told him I wanted to try it on. He moaned something pitiful and told me he'd wait outside. I'm used to his sudden bouts of tiredness, you should see it. His eyes all of a sudden become bloodshot, his face gets all haggard like he hasn't slept in days and he physically deflates into a helpless little blob. It's quite interesting, the morphology of defeat.

So y'all know that I have a butt of which I'm proud to own. I can admit that I've checked out my apple of a heiny more than once, we don't all hate our rears. I guess one of yous needed proof, or wanted to admire it too. Whichever the case, while I was trying on a skirt (which I didn't buy coz it was just OK) I heard a woman's panicked voice asking where her blouse was. Why the hysteria? Some people just like to make a scene is all. As I was bent over pulling the skirt down the drapes to my fitting room wooshed opened and I stood face to face and ass with Ms. Hysteria and her 5 year old son.

She didn't close my drape upon realizing her stupidity, just stared at me and bleated some more about her missing blouse. I was mass mooning the entire store too, in case you forgot. I didn't adjust the skirt because, what was the point by then?

Fitting rooms are small, it was obvious her blouse wasn't in there with me unless it had somehow shrunk into the pretty pink thong that was now on show and tell. I hope her son got a good look, I hope he asked her lots of interesting questions afterwards too.

A saleslady had to come close my drape because while she stood there like an idiot asking me the same retarded question repeatedly, all I could do was stare back in annoyance. A tumbleweed rolled by... or maybe just a dust bunny. Whatever.

Honestly, how do some people function in society? She had no manners, not an ounce of decency and her overall behaviour just floored me. Oh well, I suppose expecting people to be "normal" is too much to ask for these days. At least I have a nice ass. She must've been mesmerized. And jealous.