> I don't care how old and therefore entitled you feel, or how poor your grasp of the English language. A lineup is universal; get thee to the back of it.
> Mr. Stinky says I still take his breath away, it's pretty much instantaneous when I sit on him!
> Mr. Stinky says I still take his breath away, it's pretty much instantaneous when I sit on him!
> Blatant ignorance bugs the hell out of me. How some people can live in a complete vacuum of awareness and not see anything wrong with that is beyond me.
> A grown man slathered in layers of kiwi pear lotion can smell deliciously wonderful in a nonsexual way. But I'd still have him for dessert.
> Going with the flow is my specialty but sometimes you need structure and organization. My idea of fun isn't being set adrift in the open waters and waiting for something that may or may not happen. That's called a waste of time.
> Being in the company of males is indubitably funner than females in almost every single way, especially when alcohol is the centrepiece on the table.
> I won't hold you back from living in denial but don't play the victim when this is obviously what you've chosen to do. My role isn't to be your enabler.
> Achieving the state of duplicity while amongst the company of men is the coolest when you're treated like a lady but also as one of the guys. The dirty, bawdy pigs... I love 'em!
> Being Asian doesn't automatically mean I want the baby to be male. I don't care what it is as long as it's healthy because I don't plan on an exchange or refund anyway. Should it come out crippled, sickly, deformed and retarded I will not rejoice just because it's got a penis.
> I felt like such a tool when my dad started telling me about the family cruise being planned for November, and I thought he was extending the invitation to us but he only wanted someone to go feed the cat and scoop her poo.
> When someone with big, black nostrils is talking to you it's never a good idea to become fixated upon their gaping nasal passages. Doing so will make you stare, realize you're staring, make conscious efforts to not stare, which results in a hypnotically, magnetic bond between your eyes and said nostrils. Then you need to exert Herculean strength to keep a straight face whilst staring and try to hide the mysterious appearance of tears in your eyes. Hopefully the other person brushes off the strange facial twitches and flaring nostrils as your usual, odd manner and takes those gigantic black holes away before you dissolve into uncontrolled laughter and tears.
2 comments:
I thought the whole forming a line concept was easy to comprehend and needed no further instructions but it seems that is not the case as you pointed out. This was further proven when I started reading the package I received from sick kids' hospital. This is what it says word for word:
'Please form a line if there is another family there ahead of you.'
We are all doomed if this basic principle really needs instructions.
Amen sista!
My fave is the male kid thing. I just can't believe the gall of some people asking you WHY you haven't found out if the sex of your child.
Honestly!
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