Mindless TV Gold

Let me set this up for you.

Was watching one of those police chase video shows. Actually, I don't want to admit to that. I was more channel-surfing and just happened to stop for a clip that looked promising. Of course this is from the United States, and needless to say the most entertaining stuff usually occurs down South. I don't know why, is it the I.Q., the way they speak, just crazy coincidence? Who cares.

A highway trooper had pulled over a guy for suspected drunk driving. The dash camera rolls as they stand in front of the cruiser and he notices a pickup truck coming their way. Really fast. He grabs the guy and shoves him out of the way just before the pickup slams into the front of the cruiser and then the guardrail. Wow. But that wasn't the coolest part.

The trooper runs over to the pickup and this next part is what kills me, not enough for me to go into labour (damnit!) but it shore just 'bout bust mah gut!

Trooper: Sir! Are you OK?

Driver (Imagine beer-swilling, gun-toting, good ol' redneck boy in his gravest voice): Officer, I pooed my pants.

Trooper: Well yes, I can smell that.

Driver: Is that alright?

Trooper: Why didn't you have someone else drive? Look at you, you can barely talk and just sitting there... in your defecation.

Driver: I know.. it's not an easy thing.... sitting in your own defecation.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA