Cable Guy!

*Ring*

Hello? Hello?

*Click*

That's usually how I deal with telemarketers. I know they have the automated voice recognition doohickeys working for them on their end, and I was under the impression that those things are illegal but anyway, so when I hear the dead air followed by their own click and lucky cubicle drone connecting to sell me something I don't want, I hang up on them. Sometimes they'll catch me before I hang up so then the prize is speed talking their sales pitch before I tell them that I ain't interested and hang up. Mr. Stinky, however, will stay on the line hello-ing into the phone until someone starts talking. Then he might say something snarky to them. Sometimes he just keeps hello-ing until I get irritated and tell him to hang up the damned phone.

Anyway, now that I'm home during the day I receive many of these useless phone calls. Seeing's how we don't have call display I can't screen calls. I feel compelled to share a very recent, yet unusual experience with you dear readers, and I hope it leaves you as incredulous as it did me. Let's begin.

It was a Wednesday, just another Wednesday. Me and the Bug-bug (I know, I keep changing her name. Let's return to a slightly changed version of the original Stinkerbug OK?) were hanging around, doing our thing when the phone rang. I picked up and gave my customary dual hellos and was about to hang up when I heard a male voice on the other end. It turned out to be a bad connection but it led me to believe that it might've been Mr. Stinky on his cell phone just seeing if the house was still standing.

So bad connection guy turned out to be from a local cable company offering the latest promotion to better our service. These people annoy me so much, and this guy already had several strikes against him. Let's list them.

> Telemarketer

> Bad connection

> Heavy accent of some sort

> Enunciation.. didn't do, didn't care...

I only picked out a few words here and there but obviously I got the important ones. After his rushed introduction my response was polite yet firm. Here it is verbatim.

Stinky T: No thanks, this isn't a good time. (Haven't figured out how to put babies on hold yet.)

Bad Connection Guy: *Loud huff of irritation* This? Is not? A good time. For you??

Stinky T: (Brrr?!?) Yah... no, it isn't.

BCG: *Something something unintelligible something* Fine! *Click*

Oh dude, I just got told off and hung up on! What the hell just transpired? I could've been pissed off by the horrible customer service but all I did was look at Bug-bug and laugh. Of all the telemarketing calls I've ever received, and especially from a major cable company I've never had an experience like this. Like, he was totally pissed off that I was probably at home doing nothing besides picking my nose because obviously if I had something to do, like a job, I'd be out of my home doing it. Right? And if I was just sitting at home picking my nose then I should have a few minutes to at least listen to the latest promotion he had to offer and accept it. Sheeesh! I am such. a disappointment. How do I live with myself?

BCG must totally be a new guy too, coz I know that company and I know that they carefully monitor every single call and grade (I swear!) their employees at specific times of the year to list all their transgressions and here's your grade loser, bring those statistics up by the next term or you're getting written up and it'll go into your file. Dun dun dun!!

And no, I didn't better my service. We distinctly chose the shittiest yet most expensive package the company had because that's how we roll. Fight the power!