At the behest of Holden, I must talk less about gardening and more about the funner stuff in life. Since hockey is done for the season I didn't think there was anything to tell you but I just heard that my boyfriend Gary Roberts has asked his team, the Florida Panthers to ship him back to Toronto. Gary baby, I know you want to be near me and I love that you're finally telling the world but I have my doubts that you'll be back playing for the Leafs. Reasons? Many: you're past your prime, you've got a high price tag, the game has changed and you didn't leave on good terms with our current GM. As much as I adore having you on our team and watching you play I just don't think the odds are in your favour. Sorry baby, that's just how the sporting/entertainment world rolls.
I also don't have any new train stories for you, although I will say that I never tuck my legs under the seat when I'm riding. The subways on the TTC take heavy, daily abuse and many a time when I sit on a seat the whole bench will creak and shift. I decided long ago that if ever I was on one of these benches and it gave out I might look ridiculous falling but I won't be screaming bloody hell from broken legs flattened by all the weight on top.
I should mention that last Saturday Mr. Stinky and I went to see Nine Inch Nails at the Molson Amphitheatre. It was great, it was loud and it was a screaming lovefest. The weather was lovely and he's an awesome performer. I used to dislike them a lot. A lot. Inversely, Mr. Stinky loves them just as much if not more. So for a long time it's been a battle when we choose what music to listen to. I thought it was just angry noise, he's screaming and yelling about death and pain and anguish and something or other that eventually gets drowned out by the deafening din. Like, shut up and pull the trigger already if you're that friggin' miserable! But somehow I was convinced to go the concert they held at the ACC in November of last year and I enjoyed it. Actually, I enjoyed it so much I was a little disappointed because we didn't have the greatest seats and couldn't see much of what was going on onstage. So when I heard they were coming again, this time to a smaller venue and thus more intimate setting, I encouraged Mr. Stinky to go. And it was great. Last Saturday was a perfect weekend, it ended with a lot of "...WHAAT??"s and the lingering stench of smoke in our clothes and hair. It totally helps that Trent Reznor is so super hot now that he's cut his hair, got some sun and buffed up those skinny arms, whatta beefcake!
Oh, and a few days ago I was in a drugstore when someone's cell phone went off. Continuously. At maximum volume. I hate it when people jack up the sound and don't answer, it's so annoying! So of course with this piercing wail from several aisles down reverberating throughout the entire store, I yelled "Answer your phone!!" The ringing went away. Then I ran over to the offending cell phone guy now talking on his phone, grabbed it and smashed it over his head repeatedly. He reached for a bottle of foaming soap and aimed for my eyes but I dodged it by throwing jars of vaseline at him and once he was down I shoved a whole bunch of suppositories up his nose and around the corner. I had vanquished my foe! The story is true only until he answered his cell, the rest is inspired by real life events that could have happened if life indeed imitated my crazy imagination.
June 29, 2006
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2 comments:
Gary Fookin' Roberts...wow...about 5 years ago, I became a Leafs fan because Comcast won't give its signal to DirecTV even if you pay for the "everything" hockey package (like we started doing then), which means that the only team whose games I *can't* get are the Flyers (and since Comcast owns the Flyers, that means that basically the Flyers won't let me watch them, so I needed a new favorite team...anyway, I digress...) Gary Roberts' gritty, no-nonsense play was the main reason I started to love Da Leafs, and, believe me, it's full-on love at this point, even after last season. I do not, however, have the same urges that you do towards Mr. Roberts, so if he comes back, we'll all be happy, except Mr. Stinky, I guess. You can shack up with Gary, and I'll just watch him play hockey.
But I have only one question that no one has ever answered for me: leafs? Since when is "leafs" the plural of leaf?
That really sucks about not being able to watch your own team play. But that too seems to be the trend here with LeafsTV which demands a monthly subscription fee. Just as the "fans" in the ACC have all become corporate schmoozers who couldn't give two shits about the game now you have to pay to watch them play. Such is the atmosphere Leafs management have created that their team should only cater to the people with money. If you've ever gone to watch a regular season game the crowds are so quiet it's embarassing. I read in the papers a few years back that during their playoff run the writer was cheering his brains out for the team when a woman in front of him turned around to shush him. It's a sad state of affairs.
I have to confess that I also really enjoyed when Dave Manson was on the team for no other reason than to see him get all worked up and not hear anything. I like the rough and tough guys, call me a bigot but I much prefer Canadian hockey to European hockey. There just seems to be the fire there that you don't see with the paycheck players from overseas.
I can't answer that leaf vs. leafs question... maybe "leafs" just sound better than the "leaves"? Details, details.
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