May 30, 2006

It's Haawwwt!

Yah man. It literally went from cold and miserable to hot, humid and yucky overnight. This is Southern Ontario spring, the climate doesn't know exactly what's what. It just jerks around like a driver learning on stick until the gear catches and all of a sudden it feels like summer.

Last night I stayed cool by cleaning the fridge. Oh yah, it was lovely. I could've taken every condiment and leftover tupperware out, deshelved the thing and crawled inside. Mr. Stinky would've come home to melting crap all over the counters and me safely tucked into the big white box shivering with contentment.

It's not the heat the bothers me as much as the humidity. When it's hot you can turn on the fan and "feel" cooler. With the extra moisture in the air, nothing short of an air conditioning unit relieves the discomfort. Lucky for us, we don't have one of those fandangled things. Instead we have the convenience of cold showers. Two days ago I had the tap turned to... 9:30-ish? Last night I was soaking in lovely 2:00 temperature. Then I stepped out of the shower, towelled myself off and started to sweat again. It's kind of nonsensical how everything occurs out of order.

The house was much cooler downstairs so that's where I mainly spent the evening. When it came time for bed we decided to head down memory lane and blow up the air mattress in the basement... that's where we slept all of last summer when it was crazy hot and gross. I don't really know how we managed to make it through those months but somehow we did. We stayed in the basement or went to the malls and supermarkets to suck in the cool air. That's what losers with no a/c do... walk up and down the freezer section until closing time.

I'm happy to announce that tonight will be the last night Mr. Stinky and I are forced to share sleeping arrangements with the furnace, freezer and several other appliances. Tomorrow, we get our own brand spankin' new a/c unit to chill the house back down to acceptable levels. This will result in general contentment in our little love nest and a sizeable bill every month to pay for this contentment. So let's all join in a circle and sing that little ditty that you can't get out of your head once it's jangling around in there.

Hands in my pocket, hands in my pocket, hands in ma pocket!

But at least I won't be so hot that I sweat right through my pocket and soak your hand too!

1 comment:

MagicalCoffeeCup said...

You no a/c loser.
You're killing me with laughter.

P.S. I hate that hands in my pocket song. It's really REALLY stupid.