Girls’ Night Out With Bacon and Pie

Fucking Blogger, I finished a post and the site loses the whole thing. Now I gotta remember what I wrote but it won't be same…

Recently we had a girls' only night out. I love these dates with Emma because it gives us the opportunity to talk freely and gossip with abandon. No distractions, no superfluous explanations, no having to give background information, and no censoring occurs at the table. We understand each other so well that we can cover a lot of ground in a short span of time and I can totally assure you that we were indeed industrious with the topics.

Felt like fries, ordered a Cowboy Burger which was topped with bacon. Ever since the Bon Echo trip I’ve been craving bacon. I normally don’t eat bacon since to me it’s strictly a camping food and it’s messy to make but it spoke to me from the menu. We didn’t have any bacon on our trip. We had peameal bacon, or as you Americans call it, Canadian bacon but not bacon bacon. And this isn’t to slam Goose since he asked for a menu review which I (sort of looked at and) agreed to, and made all the meals but on the best of days we barely manage to pay attention to him anyway so… oh, sorry. Not important, not important.

So I separated the bacon and burger, ate the latter and came back to the first. If we hadn’t been in such a public place I would’ve spat it back out. It was wrong, the timing and the mood were both completely wrong. Needless to say the rest of it got tossed. Sorry bacon maker, but it just wasn’t what I wanted. I pouted and Emma sympathized... she look at it but didn't touch either and had wanted bacon on the camping trip as well. We agreed that next time there would have to be an abundance of bacon so that we could gorge ourselves bacon-happy.

And maybe no strawberry rhubarb pie either, I’m good if we stay away from that stuff for awhile. Heck, let’s just take pie out of the equation completely; we lost half of it anyway. Well… if you want to get technical I probably ate and subsequently “lost” about 1/3 of it myself before we lost the second half of the pie so it would’ve been almost the entire thing that got written off. What happened, you ask? Such apt students, a good question indeed. What follows is hearsay since neither Emma nor I bore witness to the event. I do remember looking at the ground and my shoes a lot, something down there must’ve been fascinating, and she was trying her best to hold me up (sort of) when a couple of raccoons decided to join the party and eat some pie… which had been forgotten and left out of the picnic table. Duh! We're normally very good with putting food away but when the alcohol hits like that pretty much everything else falls by the wayside very quickly. We were regaled with tales of Mr. Stinky and Goose fighting valiantly to rescue the damsel pie in distress from the marauding pirates via kicking (Mr. Stinky) and throwing empties (Goose) at them only to lose the bounty to the bandits who left with full bellies and probably sore rumps too. All this while I was feeding nature…

Only a whole bunch more months before we can go camping again! With bacon! And no puking! From me anyway… and I want to see how Emma tackles the squirting wiener next time! Another event I missed due to having been passed out. We should put a moratorium on fun stuff that happens when I'm incapacitated because it should be about me anyway, right?

Psssst! She doesn’t have to read this…