Some Chimps Got Busy

So yesterday I finally found the time and will to book myself an appointment for a pedicure.  One thing about nail salons is that they are overwhelmingly run by asians.  I don't know why that is, nor do I care since they do a fine job but it is an imbalanced ratio that most everyone (female that is) I know has noticed.  And it's not Chinese kind of asians, no, those people all run the restaurants be it Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc.  I'm thinking the nail people are more like Vietnamese, Thai, Cambodian, and I don't know what else since I suck at linguistics and correlating facial features to geography so when they talk amongst each other I just sit there and enjoy the strangely musical chirpings looking kind of dumb.  Which really, is pretty much my everyday expression anyway.

I suppose it's a stereotype but maybe it's just the niche that different asian groups do certain tasks better than others.  Who knows, I'm not about to anthropologize (hee!) the whys and whos.. although on a side note I took an anthropology/archaeology course in university once and my most vivid memories of that yearlong waste of time were: flirting with my friend's friend, watching other people sleeping to keep myself awake (I don't know why I cared that much) and laughing out loud when they showed us a video to draw comparisons between chimps, humans and other primates and the chimps had sex which lasted all of four thrusts or about three seconds... that's not even a quickie.  That's like, accidentally bumping into the next chimp without her knowing what was going on.  For all she knows, he just wanted to get around her but since she didn't feel like moving and he couldn't get around her big, fat butt, gave up after several attempts and found someone else to annoy.  

Anyway, instead of cigarettes after that erotic encounter they both went back to eating leaves and the whole class giggled like 12 year olds leafing through our first dirty magazine.  On the entertainment and monkey scale, it's comparable to the time my friends and I went to the zoo and watched an older orangutang with saggy boobs and belly swing around on his tire while surprising the young 'uns down below with a warm golden shower.  But I guess they were used to it since none of the little 'tangs ran away.. eeew!  Wow, I hope my parents don't read this coz they were pretty darn proud that I went to university and achieved higher learning.

Back to the beginning.  So yah, a lot of these salon... technicians? don't speak english very well and I don't understand accents very well either so that makes for some idiotic shrugging and smiling on my part.  All I wanted was a french manicure and told her so.  When they start talking to me about my feet or something else the reaction I usually fall back on is "Um, OK."  Sometimes they smile and go back to what they're doing and sometimes I get a WTF look in return.  I haven't been banned from any of these places yet so I assume I haven't offended anyone too badly so far.

To wrap up, my nails got done and I don't have to wear socks anymore to cover up my foot claws.  If you need your nails done, look for asian salons.  They're cheap, fast and usually the best in the business.  If you can score a male nail technician, super extra points because they are wizards in their own right.  And be glad that sex for humans is a longer and usually more pleasurable act than it is for chimps.  Except after marriage and kids.  So I've heard.  We also don't usually pee on each other unless you happen to get off on weirdo nasty stuff like that, I like to emerge from a shower smelling like clean and not a dirty urinal thank you very much.  You won't remember or care about my pedicure experience but you will remember my stupid primate stories.  And don't tell my parents what I remember from my post secondary education, they don't need to be reminded that the fruit of their loins is an idiot.

This post started off so completely different.  How do I come up with this crap?