It was grade 2, I tugged on my teacher's sleeve at recess time and told her that I didn't have anyone to play with... to this day I can't believe I did that since by grown up standards that is the lamest thing in lamedom you could ever do but then again, kids are much more honest and open. It was the truth and I needed someone to play with. So after I told her that, she asked the class if there was anyone who would play with me. I don't remember how many people volunteered but Nanou was the loudest and most insistent. We became instant friends.
It was serendipity that she lived two doors down from me. We spent a lot of time playing and laughing before her family outgrew their house and moved a few streets away to continue their expansion. Nanou was a special creature, she was beautiful with blond hair and blue eyes but she was also incredibly intelligent and free spirited. She could command attention easily but it was her ability to make people laugh, and her fearless feats of physical comedy that would years later make me think of Lucille Ball... she still makes me smile.
Every once in awhile we would plan to bring our tap-tap shoes to school. They were simply our pretty dress shoes with a bow in the front and a little bit of heel to make a young girl feel all grown up. When it was time to go to the washroom we would both ask the teacher for permission and with an arm over each others' shoulder we'd tap our way merrily down the hall cum personal dance floor to the washroom. Sometimes we'd lose track of time and take too long, our teacher caught onto us and banned our together washroom trips after that. We were resigned to tap-tap during recess and lunch time when everyone else was around and it was never the same.
We went our separate ways come high school and didn't see much of each other anymore. Once in awhile I would bump into her father, a slight man of stature with exceptional intelligence and manners who could put the fear into anyone who dared test his patience. Of our conversations he would always proudly sing of Nanou's accomplishments as a young lady coming into her own, bringing home report cards filled with only the letter A and preparing for a bright future doing whatever she wanted.
After awhile I didn't see him anymore so there was no more catching up. I rarely saw her either. Imagine my shock when one day out of the blue I saw my old friend as a stranger who would not acknowledge my presence. From the beautiful and happy girl next door she had transformed into a beautiful but cold goddess. The smile was gone, she looked so forbidding. She was completely buried underneath layers of hairspray, eye shadow and leather. She could have been 20 if not for the fact that she still looked like a young girl, I didn't talk to her. I didn't know how.
Her tap-tap shoes had turned into dangerous stilettos, all sharp and daring. I looked down at my feet and saw an old pair of grubby runners so worn that walking across the dew covered grass in the morning my socks would get wet. We obviously existed on completely different dimension with nothing left in common upon hitting puberty. I turned to baggy clothes and sports, she embraced the lifestyle of high fashion and sleeping around. Last I heard she had become a mother several times before leaving her teenaged years and dropped out of school.
I often wonder where she is now and what she's doing. Does she remember our time together when we pretended to be mermaids during recess and made faces at each other just for laughs? Would we have anything to say to each other should we ever meet again? I look at my Fusspot and hope that she's as fearless and funny and smart as Nanou was, that she'll wear her tap-tap shoes with another friend and be transported to their special dance floor. But that's where the similarities should end, I hope that my Fusspot never loses her sparkle or smile and bright future when she could be whatever she wants to be. I wish Nanou the best, I hope she's happy wherever she is.
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