A few days ago I had the Fusspot sitting on my lap and we watched TV together. I decided that since she was relatively still - omg I think she's got some weird tic or something. That kid never stops moving... even when she sleeps! - and her nails looked kind of long, I would give her a little manicure.
She's at the stage now where everything gets sucked on; her fist, her fingers, her bib, the shoulders on her sweaters which is convenient if all she has to do it turn her head to the side, her toys, your hand should it get close enough... There's a lovely gloss of baby drool on any and everything she can get her mouth on. You could even say it's festive at this time of the year. But really, it's just gross.
So while I was cutting her nails she turned her head and started licking my inner arm. No wait, my stunningly toned and tanned bicep. I was cool with this, if she was distracted long enough I could finish her nails and not have to leave that one sharp claw for later because she was tired of staying still and started to fuss.
Snip snip... suck suck... snip... babies have very good sucking abilities. Very strong suction. My arm (toned and tanned bicep) started to hurt. Then it really started to hurt. I hurriedly finished the manicure and pulled the little parasite off my arm only to find a very red and angry memory of times gone by, my daughter had given me a hickey. This is stuff from like, forever ago. What the hell indeed.
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